IF THE MODERN MEDIA had been reporting from Normandy on D-day; a superb piece by Fernando Diaz Villanueva:

Around three hundred French civilians were murdered yesterday and an undetermined number were injured during the first hours of the American invasion of continental Europe. Most of the French victims were due to artillery shots coming from the American fleet that was trying to hit German fortifications on the coast before thousands of soldiers proceeded to land on several of the beaches. According to sources in the improvised hospital in the town of Saint Mere Eglise, the slaughter was worse than French and Germans anticipated. “We are dropping like flies” said an eye witness who preferred to remain anonymous. “The Americans came in killing like mad men, I never thought I would say this, but life was better with Adolf Hitler.”

According to information coming from the front, the American invasion caused serious environmental damage. The army brigade that landed on the beaches is equipped with tanks, trucks and war machinery that destroyed several kilometers of coastline and thousands of hectares of very ecologically interesting wetlands. It is believed that the lazy crab’s habitat, native to this part of France, has been totally devastated; biologists warned the species might disappear. A Bluepeace representative was very dismayed, reporting his organization had warned about this military operation at least a year ago. “This disaster is just another example of how little attention the American military establishment pays to the environment.” “We have no doubt the powerful industrial-military lobby’s interests, protected by the White House, are behind the landing” said the environmentalist spokesperson Petra Cheekyface. Yesterday, during a mid-night press conference in a New York hotel, Jacques Lefrenchie, one of the members of the exiled French Government said that the savage invasion was brought on by American beer multinationals’ greed, thirsting to invade European markets. “Everybody knows President Roosevelt has his own agenda and his own drinking clientele” [I'd probably have translated this as "beverage industry lobby" myself -- FA], “once the German companies established in France are taken, Yankee beer will control the world market”.

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